Quote

I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Example
Scale
Hallway
Child
Scales
Hallways
Hands
Cat
Grabbing
Cannot
Understood
Climb
Come
Balance
Rescue
Without
Walk
Climbs
Children
Wall
Roof
Grubby
Never
Walks
Walls
Antenna

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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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