Quote

I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Come
Balance
Rescue
Without
Walk
Climbs
Children
Wall
Roof
Grubby
Never
Walks
Walls
Antenna
Example
Scale
Hallway
Child
Scales
Hallways
Hands
Cat
Grabbing
Cannot
Understood
Climb

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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Do I have to use my own money?
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I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her before picture.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
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