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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Scientist
Along
Worry
Fattening
Lettuce
Discovering
Scientists

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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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Children make your life important.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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