Quote

I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Read
Sunday
Family
Strikes
Kissing
Hands
Anger
Measles
Children
Bible
Psychologist
Never
Theory
Slap
Hand
Strike
Child
Birthday

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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
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I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
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