Quote

I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Theory
Slap
Hand
Strike
Child
Birthday
Read
Sunday
Family
Strikes
Hands
Kissing
Children
Anger
Measles
Never
Bible
Psychologist

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Every puppy should have a boy.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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I used everything you gave me.
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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