Quote

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Wonderful
Telephones
Marry
Phone
Humorous
Phones
Instruments
Daughter
Wouldn

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Erma Bombeck
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
Erma Bombeck
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Erma Bombeck
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Every puppy should have a boy.
Erma Bombeck
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
Erma Bombeck
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
Erma Bombeck
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
Erma Bombeck
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Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
Erma Bombeck