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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Wouldn
Wonderful
Telephones
Marry
Phone
Humorous
Phones
Instruments
Daughter

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Erma Bombeck
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
Erma Bombeck
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
Erma Bombeck
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Erma Bombeck
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
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Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck
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I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.
Erma Bombeck
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
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I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
Erma Bombeck
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Erma Bombeck
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
Erma Bombeck