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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Daughter
Wouldn
Wonderful
Telephones
Marry
Phone
Humorous
Phones
Instruments

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
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She's as funny as a toothache
Erma Bombeck
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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