Quote

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Phones
Instruments
Daughter
Wouldn
Wonderful
Telephones
Marry
Phone
Humorous

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck
Image
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
Erma Bombeck
Image
the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
Erma Bombeck
Image
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck