Quote

Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Last
Humorous
Rama
Girl
Phones
Seventy
Years
Gave
Telephones
Four
Seventies
Call
Named
Year
Phone
Hours
Goods
Bake
Lasts
League
Baked

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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
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I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
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I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her before picture.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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