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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Hours
Goods
Bake
Lasts
League
Baked
Last
Humorous
Rama
Girl
Phones
Seventy
Years
Gave
Telephones
Four
Seventies
Call
Named
Year
Phone

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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
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I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
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There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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