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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Year
Phone
Hours
Goods
Bake
Lasts
League
Baked
Last
Humorous
Rama
Girl
Phones
Seventy
Years
Gave
Telephones
Four
Seventies
Call
Named
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they slapped a name tag on my left bosom. I always smiled and said, 'Now, what shall we name the other one?' That would no longer be a problem.
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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