Quote

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Humorous
Tag
Members
Bosom
Name
Bosoms
Shall
Amused
Names
Committee
Funny
Smiled
Left
Committees
Member
Slapped

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
Erma Bombeck
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Erma Bombeck
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck