Quote

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Years
Seven
Make
Lead
Stay
Year
Funny
Motherhood
Mother
Awake
Remember
Fifty
Body
Humorous

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
Erma Bombeck
Image
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
Image
She's as funny as a toothache
Erma Bombeck
Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Every puppy should have a boy.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Erma Bombeck
Image
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
Erma Bombeck