Quote

The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
America
Americans
Anything
Youth
Revere
Country
Probably
Burns
Something
Fact
Glimpse
World
Funny
Drag
Facts
George
Around
Humorous
Past
Older

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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.
Erma Bombeck
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
Erma Bombeck
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
Erma Bombeck