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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Children
Dog
Reject
Later
Cents
Food
Served
Maybe
Rejects
Child
Soft
Hours
Fifty
Two
Hot
Buns
Home
Six
Mustard

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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
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I used everything you gave me.
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
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