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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Children
Dog
Reject
Later
Cents
Food
Served
Maybe
Rejects
Child
Soft
Hours
Fifty
Two
Hot
Buns
Home
Six
Mustard
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
Erma Bombeck
When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
Erma Bombeck
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
Erma Bombeck
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
Erma Bombeck
To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
Erma Bombeck
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
Every puppy should have a boy.
Erma Bombeck
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Erma Bombeck
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
Erma Bombeck
I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
Erma Bombeck
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
Erma Bombeck
With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck