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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Food
Served
Maybe
Rejects
Child
Soft
Hours
Fifty
Two
Hot
Buns
Home
Six
Mustard
Children
Dog
Reject
Later
Cents

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I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
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I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her before picture.
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
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I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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