Quote

Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Food
Served
Maybe
Rejects
Child
Soft
Hours
Fifty
Two
Hot
Buns
Home
Six
Mustard
Children
Dog
Reject
Later
Cents

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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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