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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Chain
Vegetarian
Chains
Fight
Food
Fighting
Didn
Way
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed? Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother? Wasn't there any change?
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
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Do I have to use my own money?
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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