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My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Never
Sibling
Sister
Weren
Engaged
Parents
Crazy
Either
Parent
Rivalry

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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
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Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
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Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
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