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My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Never
Sibling
Sister
Weren
Engaged
Parents
Crazy
Either
Parent
Rivalry

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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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