Quote

Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Needs
Times
Myth
Canyons
Stills
False
Phoenix
Still
Caught
Kicked
Back
Brought
Myths
Matter
Moved
Seat
Need
Tears
Emotionally
Clarification
Many
Depends
Seats
Canyon
Children
Hair
Grand
Gum

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
Erma Bombeck
Image
No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
Erma Bombeck
Image
In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed? Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother? Wasn't there any change?
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
Erma Bombeck