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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Mother
Mouth
Mouths
Answer
Answers
Food
Wisdom
Talk
Words

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
Erma Bombeck
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My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
Erma Bombeck