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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Talk
Words
Mother
Mouth
Mouths
Answer
Answers
Food
Wisdom

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Do I have to use my own money?
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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I used everything you gave me.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
Erma Bombeck
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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