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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Mouths
Answer
Answers
Food
Wisdom
Talk
Words
Mother
Mouth

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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I used everything you gave me.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
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Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
Erma Bombeck
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
Erma Bombeck