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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Funny
Moving
Around
Like
Obesity
Furniture
Fats
Theory
Move

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
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There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.
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Children make your life important.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
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I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
Erma Bombeck