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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Kids
Sent
Human
Species
Humans
Computer
Good
Among
Time
Humor
Told
Imagination
Funny
Camps

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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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