Quote

Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Feel
Inside
Feels
Responsibility
Mind
State
Life
Moment
Contractions
Moments
Motherhood
States
Defend
Human
Series
Humans
Protect

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Erma Bombeck
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
Erma Bombeck
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Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
Erma Bombeck
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I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
Erma Bombeck
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
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Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
Erma Bombeck
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
Erma Bombeck
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
Erma Bombeck
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
Erma Bombeck
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
Erma Bombeck
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
Erma Bombeck
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
Erma Bombeck
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
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When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma Bombeck
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Erma Bombeck