Quote

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Turns
Later
Nose
Like
Doors
Noses
Humor
Stick
Poodles
Leave
Sticks
Canine
Turn
Eight
Portrait
Stand
Dog
Crack
Morning
Door
Portraits
Hours
Keys
Cracks

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
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I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
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Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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