Quote

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Morning
Door
Portraits
Hours
Keys
Cracks
Turns
Later
Nose
Like
Doors
Noses
Humor
Stick
Poodles
Leave
Sticks
Canine
Turn
Eight
Portrait
Stand
Dog
Crack

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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
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Children make your life important.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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