Quote

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Look
Exciting
Come
Anybody
Looks
Food
Children
Asks
Eye
Kids
Become
Blender
Home
Blenders

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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Erma Bombeck