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Do I have to use my own money?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Use
Money

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
Erma Bombeck
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
Erma Bombeck
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
Erma Bombeck
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Erma Bombeck
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
Erma Bombeck
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Erma Bombeck
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
Erma Bombeck
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Erma Bombeck
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
Erma Bombeck
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
Erma Bombeck
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
Erma Bombeck
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
Erma Bombeck