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Do I have to use my own money?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Use
Money

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Erma Bombeck
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
Erma Bombeck
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
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Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
Erma Bombeck
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
Erma Bombeck
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
Erma Bombeck
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
Erma Bombeck
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
Erma Bombeck
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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Erma Bombeck
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
Erma Bombeck
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck