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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Look
Shot
Looks
Shots
Giving
Minutes
Every
Given
Really
Another
Never
Give
Seize
Would
Back
Mostly
Life
Live
Minute

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Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
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