Quote

If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Moments
Months
Wonderment
Ever
Instead
Assist
Live
Inside
Cherished
Life
Growing
Wishing
Chance
Pregnancy
Moment
Realized
Wish
Nine
Away
Miracle

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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
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