Quote

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Needs
Kitchen
Accessory
Empty
Gin
Struggle
Outfits
Seen
Accessories
Morning
Bottle
Inspirational
Teenage
Kids
Bottles
Need
Teenager

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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed? Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother? Wasn't there any change?
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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