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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
College
Chores
Seen
Housework
Didn
Bowl
Ever
Bowls
Nfl
Rose
Clean
Football
Housekeeping

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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
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I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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Children make your life important.
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Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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