Quote

Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Like
Emotion
Faint
Hear
Heartbeat
Days
Caring
Hard
Noise
Real
Emotions
Even
Pride
Make
Quiet
Love
Pure

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I used everything you gave me.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Friends are annuals that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a perennial that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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