Quote

One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Loss
Humor
Swat
Funny
Flies
Enough
Lion
Would
Meal
Lions
Diets
Meals

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Erma Bombeck
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Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
Erma Bombeck
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
Erma Bombeck
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
Erma Bombeck
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck