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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Accept
Accepting
Age
Grandparent
Collect
Calls
Aging
Anywhere

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
Erma Bombeck
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
Erma Bombeck
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
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