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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Grandparent
Collect
Calls
Aging
Anywhere
Accept
Accepting
Age

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
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I used everything you gave me.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
Erma Bombeck
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Children make your life important.
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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