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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Shaped
Throw
Travel
Paid
Night
Much
Like
Sink

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Erma Bombeck
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
Erma Bombeck
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There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Erma Bombeck
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
Erma Bombeck
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck