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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Mean
Diets
Really
Aside
Would
Fourth
Food
Wishbones
Wonderful
Thursday
Call
Turkeys
Talking
November
Else
Thanksgiving

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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
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To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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