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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Surviving
Rewards
Children
Life

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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