Quote

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Eye
Rotten
Stuff
Excuse
Look
Memory
Looks
Memories
Good
Maybe
Think
Eyes
Thinking
Getting
Age
Kinder

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
Erma Bombeck
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
Erma Bombeck