Quote

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Looks
Memories
Good
Maybe
Think
Eyes
Thinking
Getting
Age
Kinder
Eye
Rotten
Stuff
Excuse
Look
Memory

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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
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I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
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Do I have to use my own money?
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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