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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Enjoy
Ecstasy
Woman
Shopping
Death
Crowds
Women
Sport
Thing
Contact
Scrimmage
Like
Danger
Trampled
Football
Purchase
Sports
Noisy
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
Erma Bombeck
Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
Erma Bombeck
Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
Erma Bombeck
Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
Erma Bombeck
Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
Erma Bombeck
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
Erma Bombeck
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
Erma Bombeck
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
Erma Bombeck
I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Erma Bombeck
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
Erma Bombeck
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
Erma Bombeck
You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.
Erma Bombeck
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
Erma Bombeck
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Erma Bombeck
I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
Erma Bombeck
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Erma Bombeck
