Quote

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Woman
Shopping
Death
Crowds
Women
Sport
Thing
Contact
Scrimmage
Like
Danger
Trampled
Football
Purchase
Sports
Noisy
Enjoy
Ecstasy

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they slapped a name tag on my left bosom. I always smiled and said, 'Now, what shall we name the other one?' That would no longer be a problem.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
Erma Bombeck
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
Erma Bombeck
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
Erma Bombeck
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck