Quote

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Thing
Contact
Scrimmage
Like
Danger
Trampled
Football
Purchase
Sports
Noisy
Enjoy
Ecstasy
Woman
Shopping
Death
Crowds
Women
Sport

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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed? Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother? Wasn't there any change?
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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I read one psychologist's theory that said, Never strike a child in your anger. When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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