Quote

Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Idea
Three
Didn
Two
Light
Kitchen
Ideas
Turn
Many
Takes
Children
Turns

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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
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Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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