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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Parent
Weren
Moment
Grown
Moments
Bitter
Money
Survive
Mommy
Two
Blessing
Daddy
Kids
Parents
Permission
Stills
Needed
Blessings
Still
Playing
Mature

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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
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Do I have to use my own money?
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
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I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
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