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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Moments
Bitter
Money
Survive
Mommy
Two
Blessing
Daddy
Kids
Parents
Permission
Stills
Needed
Blessings
Still
Playing
Mature
Parent
Weren
Moment
Grown

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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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