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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Money
Survive
Mommy
Two
Blessing
Daddy
Kids
Parents
Permission
Stills
Needed
Blessings
Still
Playing
Mature
Parent
Weren
Moment
Grown
Moments
Bitter

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I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of go out and fulfill your dreams and be everything you were meant to be. But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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